The following article is a synopsis of an episode from our Life Chat Podcast series. To listen to the full episode, click here.
In yet another Life Chat episode, Mary Kate Knorr delves deep into the destruction of pornography on men, women, and society with Dan Korenchan, a seminarian at Mundelein Seminary. He shares the abundance of knowledge he has, and talks about the experiences he’s seen with this among his own friends and in his own life.
The Damage Pornography Does
About 70% of men ages 18-30 are watching pornography, according to a study. This is a vast majority, and in regards to usage, Korenchan says that, “It’s estimated that about 30% of internet activity is pornographic activity. Porn sites are getting more access than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined.” Why is porn so bad for the man himself? It emasculates men, Korenchan explains, “It’s a very personal and shameful… it’s a place of great shame for many men.” He talks about how most men hide this addiction from everyone, but it starts to eat them up.
Korenchan goes on to explain that pornography is not like regular sexual attraction, or even engaging in the marital act often with your wife. “Porn is extremely, extremely potent,” he stresses. It’s like a drug, and when using drugs, one will need higher and higher dosages to obtain the same high. The same principal is true with pornography. Pornography starts out with sexual acts, but it quickly turns to more violent acts, incest, underage sex, bestiality etc. This is not because the viewer would normally be attracted to that, but because all that matters is getting that rush, and you’re looking for something that is more aggressive and will give you that, Korenchan explains. This is devastating for men, and can often bleed into the real relationships they are having with women, as will be explained in the next segment.
Not all women who are in the pornography industry chose to be a part of it, of course. But for those who do choose, why should this be a problem? Aren’t they giving men consent to look at them sexually by being part of the industry? Maybe so, but this doesn’t make it right for men to succumb to that, or for women to put themselves in that place of complete degradation and objectification.
“I think that pornography illustrates disrespect for humanity and especially of women more than perhaps any other issue,” Korenchan boldly claims. He clarifies his statement by saying, “And when I say more, I mean with more frequency… the whole point of it is to make a public spectacle of using women for your pleasure.” The point of sex is to objectify the beautiful women’s body; men are using women with nothing asked of them in return. There is no commitment required, no action needed, no promise of being there tomorrow. This is absolutely devastating to the dating culture of today, and women deserve men who can commit and follow through, not just satisfy themselves and get on with their lives.
As was mentioned above, pornography can actually be very harmful to women in relationships. If a woman’s boyfriend is addicted to pornography, especially the more violent, messed-up pornography, the boyfriend will be more likely to engage in violent acts during sexual intercourse, to simulate what he has seen in pornography. This can be devastating to a woman’s emotional and physical health, Korenchan comments.
…to our Culture:
What happens to a culture where men have satisfaction at their fingertips, with no need to commit in a relationship or marriage? How do men get out of their addiction, out of their funk of selfishness, and commit to a woman, marry her and have children? They don’t, Korenchan explains. This is why pornography is incredibly devastating to our culture. He remarks how pornography “Skips the entire part of developing a relationship with a woman, it skips to the part of arousal, of sex, so men just become passive from watching pornography. There’s nothing required of him.” With a world full of these men, this generation will be the last: there won’t be any men who want to get married, have children with his wife, and create a new generation.
“It [Pornography] normalizes what is otherwise a very intimate and special act among women. If we don’t take that seriously, then what else are we gonna take seriously?” This is a question we have to ask ourselves as a society. One of the reasons women are so degraded in society is because the majority of men regularly watch porn; they practice degrading women. Is this a society we want our children to grow up in, or is it time that women and men speak up and identify this wound in our culture, and heal it before it’s too late?