Answers to Your Unanswered Questions about Adoption

The thought of adoption can be scary for some new parents.

Many new moms and dads don’t really know what to expect.

But if you are in an unplanned pregnancy and the idea of parenting seems too overwhelming, adoption may be the perfect option for you.

Here are some answers to common questions about adoption that can hopefully help you decide if this awesome, loving option is right for you:

Is adoption common?

It’s actually a lot more common than you might think. Thousands of women and men choose adoption every year. Even though they aren’t ready to be parents, they want their babies to have a beautiful life full of love and laughter. In Illinois alone, 4,193 children were adopted in 2008. That is the equivalent of 10 jumbo jets full of children! And that is just in one single state, in one single year. Approximately 135,813 children are adopted in America every year.

Behind every one of the 135,813 children adopted in the U.S. each year, there is a birth mother who loves her baby, a mother who wants the best for herself, for her child, and for the many families waiting to adopt.

What does adoption cost?

Most adoptions carry completely no cost to the pregnant mother looking to place her baby up for adoption. All of the adoption services, any counseling, and medical fees, available can be completely free.

What kinds of adoption are there?

You have several options in the adoption process: closed adoption, semi-open adoption, or an open adoption. When you place your baby up for adoption, the adoption agency and adoption counselors will work with you to determine what is the best option for you. The main goal of every adoption counselor is to make you comfortable and happy with the decision you choose.

Closed adoption: In a closed (or confidential adoption), the agency will choose a family to place your child with. The birth mother and the adoptive family identities are kept confidential from each other. The adoption is facilitated by the adoption agency. After the adoption, there is no communication between the birth mother and the adoptive parents/child.

Semi-open adoption: In a semi-open adoption, the adoptive family and the birth mother identities are usually kept confidential from each other. The adoption agency facilitates the adoption. After the adoption is complete, some contact may remain between the birth mother and the family although the identities are usually kept confidential. This could include letters, emails, or even visits organized through the adoption agency.

Open adoption: In an open adoption, you, your adoption agency, and the adoptive parents work together to plan how closely you want to keep in touch. Open adoptions include the birth mother meeting the potential adoptive family and selecting which family she would like the baby to be adopted into.  Open adoptions can also include visits between the birth mother and the adopted child after the adoption has been finalized as well as phone calls, emails, and letters to stay in touch with the family and the child. Open adoptions typically include a very open and welcoming relationship between the birth mother, the adoptive family and the child throughout the child’s entire life.

More details can be found here.

Is adoption right for me?

If you’re not ready to be a parent or circumstance make you unable to raise a child, adoption is an incredibly loving option for you and your baby. Most adoptive mothers say placing their child up for adoption was the best decision they made, however it was also the toughest decision. You will have peace of heart know that your baby’s adoptive family can be hand picked by you. Some adoptive parents are only able to have a family because of your strength in placing your baby up for adoption.

Adoption allows you to pursue your dreams and give your baby a beautiful future and family. As we walk you through the facts about adoption, just remember: 1) Adoption can be free for the birth mother and 2) Adoption is common. For information and judgment-free advice you can call Birthmother’s Choice hotline at 1-888-535-2654.

Who can help?

While we don’t facilitate adoptions, we are happy to walk with you, every step of the way through your adoption process. Just give us a call (312-422-9300) or drop us an email (confidential@IllinoisRightToLife.org).  No matter what, you’re not alone. We will be here for you.